Breathing Space
by suspensegirl
Summary: End 2x03 - Caroline doesn't want to live like this anymore, hurting people, losing Matt, feeling alone and out of control. Death by Damon's stake seems the most plausible solution. Then, Stefan shows up. Oneshot.


A/N: First sole VD fic, so, be nice. ;p I have to be honest, Caroline/Stefan felt very forced & it really looked to me like Caroline was always trying too hard to get Stefan to like her in season 1. *sigh* It was almost uncomfortable to watch them together – and not because I love Stelena, but just b/c Caroline was embarrassing _me_. *shakes head* But, these last two episodes have really made me fall in love with them as an AU couple. I'm totally okay with them just staying as friends, but I can see the potential for more. He's real sweet to her adjusting to life as a vampire. I just love all their scenes together and look forward to them immensely. *nods* =) Anyways, on with the story. It's a oneshot, so don't go asking for more. XD It takes place at the end of 2x03 after Caroline gets home, so…before morning when Katherine surprises her. ;)

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

….

She would let Damon do it. She would let him kill her. He'd been so eager to after all. She was sure he'd have no problem with it now. She wondered if anyone would care if she were gone. It was clear that Bonnie no longer wanted to associate with her, and Elena was hardly around to talk to her. Caroline ignored the knowledge of her stopping Damon from killing her the other night. Now she wished she hadn't. Elena could live in the world of the Salvatore brothers, Bonnie could go on hating everyone except Elena – maybe Stefan. Now that she had fallen victim to the vampire effect, Caroline had let her jealousy get the best of her. She didn't have Matt. She'd _hurt_ him tonight, and then she'd pushed him over the edge. She should have known he wouldn't cheat on her, especially after he'd just told her he was _in love_ with her. Jealousy had just gotten the best of her. It'd been overwhelming and she'd been unable to hold back, couldn't let him fall for someone else _while_ he was with her. It all seemed so stupid now.

She reached out across the bed with her hand, digging in her purse for her phone. She'd call Elena. Elena always knew where the Salvatore brothers were, mainly because they were attached to her at the hip. Another shudder of jealousy ripped through her. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, her hand closing tightly around her phone. She brought it out in front of her. It seemed to take forever to find her best friend's name in the long list of contacts.

_Popularity. Beauty. Success. Love. Gratification._

They all seemed so pointless now. It seemed she could not even get the satisfaction of Elena answering her phone though. She'd try in five minutes again, if she wasn't too tired, if she didn't need blood. She sighed. She'd never eaten that bunny. It seemed almost sacrilegious that that was her form of food now. It definitely went against animal rights, but it was definitely better than cannibalism, if she could even call it that. She wondered if she could just call it sweet blood and get away with it. Either way, it disgusted her, and was an even more valid reason for her to die.

She didn't want to think of the overwhelming pain she'd have to go through to have a stake driven through her as it was clear Damon was prepared to do. What's more, he didn't seem to have any problem with killing her in her very new vampire state. She didn't blame him. She'd been scared to death at the time – _I'm going to kill you_, he'd said. She wouldn't have reacted fast enough to prevent the evil deed. He'd known what all the rest of them had been unwilling to admit. They didn't want her to hurt anyone. She'd proven tonight that her own control willing her to resist blood was hardly enough to keep her from it. She _deserved_ to be dead. Officially.

"Caroline?"

She snapped up in her bed, dropping her phone in her lap. Surprisingly she'd not jumped to the other side of the room in a heartbeat like she'd been doing, afraid of anything and anyone that would try to harm her. It was ironic, considering she was determined to let Damon kill her now, and that her vampire talents would keep her from harm, at least from humans.

"Stefan?"

She would recognize his voice anywhere. That knowledge jolted her. It wasn't as if they saw each other a lot. His first impression of her was that of a needy, desperate, insecure high school girl. He'd chosen Elena, as was the typical choice. She'd still taken every opportunity to get near to him – before Matt that is. She hadn't flat out tried to win him over, because he was Elena's and she understood that. She respected that. When Matt became her boyfriend, it was almost as if Stefan didn't exist. She was always stuck in that perfect, bubbly, lovestruck bubble around Matt. Except when she felt insecure. That had ruined her tonight.

"I wanted to make sure you got home alright."

She looked at him as he walked towards her. He'd come in through the window, hardly needing to scale the house to get her. Vampires could move fast, effortlessly, impressively. That was exciting, she had to admit. The knowledge put her on a high nothing else but Matt ever had. But, she could live without it. She could live without a lot of things; she had been for awhile.

"I'm fine," she said neutrally on a sigh.

He was standing in front of her beside the bed, watching as she fiddled with the phone in her hands. He knew something was wrong without even asking. Caroline was very easy to read. Her emotions had always spilled out of her very strongly and without warning. Since she'd been turned, those emotions were even more intense, just like he told her they'd be. He zeroed in on the flipping phone in her hands.

"Going to call someone? Me, perhaps?" He smiled a little. She looked up at him, but realized she could not even make a snide remark to what he'd said, couldn't attempt to insult him or make him leave.

"No," she said quietly. His eyebrows furrowed and he crossed his arms across his chest. Evidently, he'd decided to sit on the bed.

"I told you it wasn't going to be easy," he said. She looked at him, trying to find some reassurance in those determined, caring, knowing eyes, but she could find nothing.

"I wish you hadn't saved me."

His face fell.

"I wish you'd let Damon kill me. I wish you'd let that werewolf kill me." Her voice was rising. She was still shaking from the frightening experience of that creature astride her. "I wish—"

"Hey, hey," he tried to soothe her, taking her hand in his own and clasping his other hand around the one still playing her phone. A sob escaped her. "I said I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

"_Why_?" she demanded. Tears filled her eyes. She wished she would have been able to appreciate the heartbroken look on his face, but all she could feel was her own devastated emotions. They were in overdrive. She couldn't ignore them if she tried.

"What happened?" he asked gently instead. She gave a frustrated sigh and ripped one of her hands away, fiercely drying the face that was now wet with tears.

"Matt broke up with me," she said roughly, angry at herself that she was still crying, and that she'd even started crying to begin with. He blew out what sounded like a huge gust of wind. She did not have to look at him to see him asking for an explanation. "He was talking to that same girl before. I exploded. I blew up at her about her staying away from him, how he shouldn't be flirting with some other girl, how I shouldn't have to deal with it…" she trailed off. Stefan nodded, not needing to hear the rest to understand how the story had ended. He pulled her to him, wrapped his arms around her and rocked her gently, tucking her head beneath his chin.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, after what felt like a millennium. She sighed wearily, tears still choking her breathing. She didn't want him to tell her again how hard this was, and how much harder it'd be to continue in this lifestyle. She didn't need to her the pity speech on how she shouldn't give up just because of that, that he'd always be there and protect her. For the most part, he didn't touch on any of that.

"But, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you," he told her again. He pulled his head back a little and cupped her face in his hands so that she was forced to look at him. Tears still clung to her eyelashes. "Not even from something you would try yourself."

She guessed explaining that she would have had Damon do it would not be a good excuse. It would be a pathetic one. Even as a vampire she was insecure, much more so, she reminded herself. She sighed shakily and nodded once. Then she collapsed on his chest and he held her till she fell asleep.

…

A/N: Thoughts? Please review. =) And no, I'm still not going to continue it. XD


End file.
